I like to go to bookstores almost every other week to look for good books that could help me improve the way I manage myself, my thinking, my decision-making, and how I carry myself in front of others.

It’s a small ritual I really enjoy. I can spend hours reading the summaries and browsing the contents of books that I believe will be good for me. Often, I walk out with two or three new books in hand, filled with hope that these new insights will help me grow in the near future.

When I get home, the new books join others I’ve bought earlier — always kept in sight on my bookshelf, so that when I glance at them, I’ll be reminded to pick one up and read. That’s the ideal state I imagine: an ongoing cycle of reading, learning, and applying new ideas.

But here’s the reality: I rarely touch them again.

Except, of course, when I decide to rearrange the bookshelf — or to reorganize the books by the color of their spines to make the shelf look aesthetically pleasing. The initial motivation I had when I bought the book seems to fade away quickly.

Why Does This Happen?

It turns out that what I’m experiencing is very common. In fact, it has a name: aspirational buying — or what some call “bibliophile’s guilt.”

We buy books not only for their content, but because they represent the person we hope to become. They symbolize growth, wisdom, and progress. The very act of buying a book gives us a temporary burst of motivation — it feels like we’re taking a positive step forward.

But here’s the tricky part: owning a book doesn’t create change. Real growth happens only when we engage deeply with the material and apply it in real life.

There are a few key reasons this motivation tends to fade:

1. The Purchase Feels Like Progress

Buying a book feels productive — it scratches the itch of “I’m doing something to improve myself.” But our brain can sometimes confuse this with actual progress, which hasn’t happened yet.

2. Overcommitment

Buying several books at once creates a mental backlog. Each unread book becomes a small source of guilt, making it harder to feel excited about picking one up.

3. Lack of Immediate Application

Personal development books are most useful when read with a purpose. Without a specific situation or goal to apply the insights to, the drive to engage meaningfully fades.

4. Aesthetic Over Function

Once books are neatly placed on the shelf, they can shift from being practical tools to becoming part of the decor — a visible symbol of good intentions rather than a source of actionable insight.

How Can We Break the Cycle?

If this pattern sounds familiar, here are a few simple shifts that can make a big difference:

1. Buy Fewer Books at a Time

Commit to purchasing just one book at a time, and don’t buy another until you’ve engaged with the first one.

2. Read with a Purpose

Approach each book with a specific question:

“How can I improve my time management this week?”

“What decision-making technique can I test out at work this month?”

3. Read Actively

Take notes, summarize key points, and — most importantly — identify 1-2 actionable insights you can implement right away.

4. Build a Reading Ritual

Create a regular time to read — even 15–30 minutes a day or a few times per week — so that reading becomes a habit, not an occasional aspiration.

5. Embrace Selective Reading

Not every book needs to be read cover to cover. Skim, scan, extract what’s most valuable — treat books as tools, not tasks to complete.

Final Thought

It’s okay to love books for what they represent. But if we want them to truly serve us, we need to shift from seeing them as symbols of who we want to be, to seeing them as tools to help us become that person.

The next time I visit a bookstore, I’ll remind myself of this. One book, one purpose, one action — and maybe, just maybe, a little less bookshelf guilt.